I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
