you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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