If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
