And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
