UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
