I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
