Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
