We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
