I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
