But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
