Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
