8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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