I wish I could teleport
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
