Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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