she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
