Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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