three words: i give head
three words: not that well
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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