She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
