Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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