Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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