There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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