so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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