she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I forgot how hot balto sounded
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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