dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
