Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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