I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He did a backflip because drugs
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
