Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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