As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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