member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
