Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Omg I joined a choir last night...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
