DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
