We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
