someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
