There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
