And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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