theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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