She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
