I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
