Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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