So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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