so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
