This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
