We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
