careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
