So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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