How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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