Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
