Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
