i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
