Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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