I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
